14 April 2007

On Being a new Minister - Two

I've not posted anything substantive for awhile as I've felt rather tired and emotionally drained.

It's still this "being a new minister" thing. I reckon it's going to take me until the end of my first year in full-time ministry (September 2007) to get an overview as to what it's like. And it will probably take me until the end of the second year to start feeling like the role of "minister" is part of who I am - althought that's slowly growing.

In particular, I found Holy Week quite difficult as I had services every day except the Monday and Saturday of Holy Week. Although in our culture, Easter is less of a hoopla than Christmas, I did actually find Holy Week to be more difficult overall than the week leading up to Christmas.

One of the most difficult bits was something that I didn't expect - living in a state of anticipating the execution of Christ for the entire week. It drained me emotionally. I'm certain that it wasn't as draining as those people who are living the reality of waiting for a loved one to die and I would not want to compare the two in any way.

Still, the emotions of Holy Week took me by surprise. I was completely unable to begin preparing for Easter Sunday until the Good Friday service was over. And, even then, I think I felt in something of a daze and couldn't really take it all in. Unlike other years where Easter felt like "Alleluia!" Easter this year felt more like "He's risen??? Risen??? What do you mean risen???" I think it's take me until the end of this week to begin to actually take in the fact that Easter has happened.

I'm ever so thankful that Probationers get the Sunday after Easter off. I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow morning, but not having to prepare any services for tomorrow feels like something I really need.

3 comments:

Beyondwords said...

Pam, I think Christians need to leave room in their lives for the visceral grief of the execution of Jesus. It happens to me every year. It's in the fiber of the cosmos, somehow.

I wonder if being willing to go through the pain and grief will help us understand and celebrate the Resurrection more fully.

On another note, I've come to the conclusion most Christians actually believe in or understand the power of the Resurrection.

PamBG said...

On another note, I've come to the conclusion most Christians actually believe in or understand the power of the Resurrection.

I am in agreement with you on this.

crystal said...

Pam,

one of the features of the online retreat I've been doing is the mention that the joy of the resurrection is not all that easy to experience for many, after going through the week before. You rection was like mine.

Congrats on being a new minister :-)