tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204712702024-03-08T00:19:20.818+00:00PamBG's BlogPamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.comBlogger581125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-46440198086002545192012-08-23T03:25:00.001+01:002012-08-23T03:26:38.874+01:00Compassionate Christianity - I Believe<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitn5IFSr1KqpuHrS7BojtHNe5aHjhY_MUlKixyfNbjxYgq0MqaIvr16kFBzU1RBnrIXELhhGro9RoDiqpI7GL8D6Ub6_AzuIc1ADMnWGjHbt0FtTVlk95NU8fgkuMm5ova74Fn/s1600/MP900430910.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitn5IFSr1KqpuHrS7BojtHNe5aHjhY_MUlKixyfNbjxYgq0MqaIvr16kFBzU1RBnrIXELhhGro9RoDiqpI7GL8D6Ub6_AzuIc1ADMnWGjHbt0FtTVlk95NU8fgkuMm5ova74Fn/s320/MP900430910.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: Microsoft Clipart</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Compassionate-Christianity-I-Believe">What does it mean to say "I believe"?</a> </span></div>
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<br />PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-86316190285669877432012-08-19T22:47:00.003+01:002012-08-19T22:48:54.758+01:00Compassionate Christianity: I Am the Bread of Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD5-fHNc76WbH2RS2j_Z8M3_agaB4XmlqPDkKoRqRzMP1XKvZVYzQIWoLAPr-dDGhri27Bny-D1BIj7ZQemvV9YwzigDFuNFsM8HcG0eLKkweTL5ZUgJ35MfsNjDb4tzhg52NS/s1600/MP900442635.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD5-fHNc76WbH2RS2j_Z8M3_agaB4XmlqPDkKoRqRzMP1XKvZVYzQIWoLAPr-dDGhri27Bny-D1BIj7ZQemvV9YwzigDFuNFsM8HcG0eLKkweTL5ZUgJ35MfsNjDb4tzhg52NS/s320/MP900442635.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: Microsoft Clipart</span></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
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Being there authentically. Present in the moment. That is who you are.
That is what you call us to do as <span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Compassionate-Christianity-I-Am-The-Bread-of-Life">the Body of Christ</a></span>. Compassion is what
we display when we have become one with you. Compassion is the road to
living fully, eternally. Compassion is the way by which we too will be
raised.</div>
</blockquote>
PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-69847741200260349562012-06-23T17:42:00.001+01:002012-06-23T17:42:21.605+01:00Managing Not to Laugh<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4huF_hY3ERZE2F4-7Z3PSajkZFViJ8AER5-gZ7vv3hUZ1sP9xHCmKuW8V3h3lsjSvuOst-vM6Io2fF1EIdcJSo11uEBDdY7c7HKfPBROQVLr5AG4QLbT-2sSMfIkeaqCL5GJU/s1600/laugh.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4huF_hY3ERZE2F4-7Z3PSajkZFViJ8AER5-gZ7vv3hUZ1sP9xHCmKuW8V3h3lsjSvuOst-vM6Io2fF1EIdcJSo11uEBDdY7c7HKfPBROQVLr5AG4QLbT-2sSMfIkeaqCL5GJU/s320/laugh.JPG" width="211" /></a></div>
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From my <a href="http://pambg.blogspot.com/2012/04/blatant-crowd-sourcing.html?showComment=1340453326382">Crowd-Sourcing post</a> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/08226707596465457011">Turnip Ghost</a> asks the question:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>How do you manage not to burst out laughing at the things you have to say and the people you have to meet?</i></blockquote>
I admit that I think this question was meant to be unkind, but let's take the question seriously and break it down into two parts:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b>Question:</b> How do I manage not to burst out laughing at the people I have to meet?</i></blockquote>
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<b>Answer: </b> I'm a Chaplain in a hospital. Most of the people I meet are sick. Either a little bit sick or extremely sick. I don't know about you, but I'm not tempted to burst out laughing when someone tells me they've had a knee replacement or they have cancer.<br />
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However, there are times when it seems appropriate to tell a joke so that the person can laugh. I wouldn't make fun of their illness, but I'd try to appeal to their sense of humor. People who laugh and smile get well faster than people who are scared and depressed.<br />
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<b><i>Question: </i></b><i>How do I manage not to burst out laughing at the things I say?</i> </blockquote>
<b>Answer: </b>Well, when I tell a joke, I usually know the punch-line already so I don't have to burst out laughing.
When I talk about serious matters, I speak about things that I know to be true from my own experience. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not or to have had experiences that I haven't had.<br />
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I speak the truths that I have learned from my own life and I present them as such.
And I remember that other people experience life differently than I do and that they might not think the same way I do.<br />
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I remember that I'm there to help the person in front of me find their own meaning, not to try to convince them to accept my meaning as their own.<br />
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No one "has to" believe as you believe or as I believe. Everyone can say no and disagree. A person can tell me that they don't want to speak to me. A person can walk out of a church and not listen to the pastor - and there are some churches that folk should definitely walk out of.<br />
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No one needs to feel put down if other people believe differently. Two people can have opposite experiences of the same situation and neither one of them has to be stupid or worthy of being mocked or laughed at. Just be yourself, speak your own truth with kindness and patience.<br />
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That's my answer.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-65782961887069160352012-05-19T14:33:00.000+01:002012-05-19T14:33:26.109+01:00Compassionate Christianity: Chaplaincy, Aging and the Elephant in the Room<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhthUkUlBYDwwqcNyBj6pCHmu-tlDg3PmGjGFG-OOJtNGnDN4W2CP6WCIEuxb27uRokeZwGop0ww4JfgME0mi8dQtSggti3DYkLgu76DNLAe7LxaVY-Fz6PqO_8sZxdw_Pkf817/s1600/MP900409213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhthUkUlBYDwwqcNyBj6pCHmu-tlDg3PmGjGFG-OOJtNGnDN4W2CP6WCIEuxb27uRokeZwGop0ww4JfgME0mi8dQtSggti3DYkLgu76DNLAe7LxaVY-Fz6PqO_8sZxdw_Pkf817/s320/MP900409213.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>I</i><i>t's probably no exaggeration whatsoever to say that every day, I go
into a hospital room of an older person who tells me that they don't
want to live if living means having no quality of life and no dignity.</i></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>The main purpose of this Hub is simply to put that message forward.
And to let you know that, if you feel that way, you are not alone.</i> <i><a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Compassionate-Christianity-Chaplaincy-Aging-and-the-Elephant-in-the-Room?done">(link)</a></i></blockquote>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-72109735046589738632012-05-02T15:55:00.002+01:002012-05-02T15:55:56.966+01:00Ornery Christianity - How I read the bible<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOY9TZnMwi6UyYQpEO5O_Kjz3Ne_dlYEAaR1_xxil67TKg4POCWSAqZdH7Cpen4egb4u67cndBNPujqz7Yd0YZQQ7PTiCthgf_ktla-p2eiVwSbinJNen9Teq_yKxr6raVNEW0/s1600/IMG_0256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOY9TZnMwi6UyYQpEO5O_Kjz3Ne_dlYEAaR1_xxil67TKg4POCWSAqZdH7Cpen4egb4u67cndBNPujqz7Yd0YZQQ7PTiCthgf_ktla-p2eiVwSbinJNen9Teq_yKxr6raVNEW0/s320/IMG_0256.JPG" width="272" /></a></div>
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A new post: <a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Ornery-Christianity-How-I-read-the-bible">on how I read the bible.</a> Go to link to take the poll.<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Is everything in the bible true?</i><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>One of my favorite teachers puts it this way: "Everything in the bible is true. Some of it really happened."</i></blockquote>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-17998789682162841622012-04-24T01:20:00.002+01:002012-04-24T01:20:22.706+01:00Ornery Christianity - Take Up Your Cross<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizQ82HQeANl8dYBzPEgw16wz8UpjjRNqtYxxoyrOIRR7O03FzVSAcy8fjeIp7ZdG0UoL7LN6m4hKabBfrDgDEuS2j9LDMiX5qD_c-gYGMJAwE4ZHfwrMdkm8Q98sduoyBqnWW4/s1600/Crucifix.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizQ82HQeANl8dYBzPEgw16wz8UpjjRNqtYxxoyrOIRR7O03FzVSAcy8fjeIp7ZdG0UoL7LN6m4hKabBfrDgDEuS2j9LDMiX5qD_c-gYGMJAwE4ZHfwrMdkm8Q98sduoyBqnWW4/s320/Crucifix.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Ornery-Christianity-Take-Up-Your-Cross-Daily?done">Take Up Your Cross</a><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>I can't think of anywhere that Jesus preaches anything along the lines
of "If you follow me wholeheartedly, you will build a large and
successful denomination that millions will flock to" or "If you follow
me faithfully, you will build a large and successful charity that will
wipe out hunger in your lifetime."</i></blockquote>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-29342375381139900402012-04-20T19:12:00.001+01:002012-04-20T19:12:30.800+01:00Blatant Crowd-Sourcing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjWnkePdlNf0L1GPpWdGpt7uBCVgrfwipsiuX1HJcUz5-EEfkaDyHiNfZHTvXlr8QsJ0toZOYdt4fgSq-n-yLj3H_T0lvgmM1FxpPORBsG23yjl-z-11_UCpm0v9WhFa76kmt/s1600/MP900289322(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjWnkePdlNf0L1GPpWdGpt7uBCVgrfwipsiuX1HJcUz5-EEfkaDyHiNfZHTvXlr8QsJ0toZOYdt4fgSq-n-yLj3H_T0lvgmM1FxpPORBsG23yjl-z-11_UCpm0v9WhFa76kmt/s320/MP900289322(1).JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Blatant crowd-sourcing.<br />
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What questions would you ask a Christian minister if you could ask anything? Leave questions in the comments section and I'll do my best.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-62577768677188812012012-04-10T15:58:00.003+01:002012-04-10T15:58:44.473+01:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxsH98sGgKV64eJR5xnXVkLBbI0WAFNOwfUXD2IqNYELQ7NZ7JLZ2G5dEgVHyDM6B9UF1EHlkptgisxzYscekkRXMtTs1WY8w6w4ib8RayJQ-r-rMlamskfoBBy2IH7EE5sBH-/s1600/MP900442656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxsH98sGgKV64eJR5xnXVkLBbI0WAFNOwfUXD2IqNYELQ7NZ7JLZ2G5dEgVHyDM6B9UF1EHlkptgisxzYscekkRXMtTs1WY8w6w4ib8RayJQ-r-rMlamskfoBBy2IH7EE5sBH-/s320/MP900442656.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Compassionate Christianity: <a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Compassionate-Christianity-Love-Your-Neighbor">Love Your Neighbor</a>. Love your self. Some thoughts on a compassionate and balanced approach to the Great Commandment.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-52997253101503058812012-04-10T15:56:00.000+01:002012-04-10T15:56:27.946+01:00Marta's Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXyHqqvCAhUEwg2qzpsnhoy15-M9UkKw-k-h6eGxuvym24Vb0K9OJPPa_F-ZvmRgApDUrZ-qNNpzoybxd8ofCT3UCZzK5g114dLF68zlTYKNPN80ldAZiFrrLL4TitqEU7Wd75/s1600/IMG_0181.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXyHqqvCAhUEwg2qzpsnhoy15-M9UkKw-k-h6eGxuvym24Vb0K9OJPPa_F-ZvmRgApDUrZ-qNNpzoybxd8ofCT3UCZzK5g114dLF68zlTYKNPN80ldAZiFrrLL4TitqEU7Wd75/s320/IMG_0181.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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On Good Friday, I had an amazing encounter with a 100 year old woman of faith who had spent the day testifying to her family about the message she had been given of God's love while she was dying. I hope you find the story as inspiring as I did. Read <a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Martas-Story">Marta's Story</a>.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-25827617298754105972012-04-05T00:59:00.004+01:002012-04-05T00:59:57.806+01:00The Judgement of Jesus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCpIt71iCtvzPvYHpI0lBizBrqyLW7WPQT7w0WGJfTthl2iFM1NRCvgoZVOoRbn8dAPHrhq62w4-oPBSw0yePxAn0Z73DWz8Cc20riHdDvlXTvfP_3ZiHW3-s8d_jVg812Bns/s1600/779px-Eccehomo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCpIt71iCtvzPvYHpI0lBizBrqyLW7WPQT7w0WGJfTthl2iFM1NRCvgoZVOoRbn8dAPHrhq62w4-oPBSw0yePxAn0Z73DWz8Cc20riHdDvlXTvfP_3ZiHW3-s8d_jVg812Bns/s320/779px-Eccehomo1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: Wikipedia</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/The-Judgement-of-Jesus?done">The Judgement of Jesus</a> </span>- A Meditation on John 18:13-40</div>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-59447590026232681422012-04-05T00:06:00.001+01:002012-04-05T00:06:28.897+01:00Skincare for Cheapskates<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbXIcPrhS7sl8AgyyhicEgZMVqNgGXx-8GRFeIfW-klrwyU-owOAKr04ZJAKHj4Htqzm1TYvB9rvl8R2MkkUWzOSjldbytQLF1Awa4vmYKfm908qJdO0eb-hiRy1roIhJTpbGn/s1600/StICream.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbXIcPrhS7sl8AgyyhicEgZMVqNgGXx-8GRFeIfW-klrwyU-owOAKr04ZJAKHj4Htqzm1TYvB9rvl8R2MkkUWzOSjldbytQLF1Awa4vmYKfm908qJdO0eb-hiRy1roIhJTpbGn/s320/StICream.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And, now for something completely different: <a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Skin-Care-for-Cheapskates">Skincare for Cheapskates - Part 1</a> and <a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Skin-Care-for-Cheapskates-Part-2">Skincare for Cheapskates - Part 2</a>.<br />PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-86407053347836203972012-03-24T14:39:00.002+00:002012-03-24T14:39:19.216+00:00Hospital Chaplains - what do they do?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOr1lYIeoVzqEdHk2i-btjPFqzvW3WhCdA305TQ1sUzsgtW9Lh60YIWXXP3mnGzaYlRKGxFW6kSJ6Jyrxel6fzgjEhG44NXcgiF6w4wR9XDNjV3c3F3SK_MXcJvkrzT3KbwzrQ/s1600/MP900386037.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOr1lYIeoVzqEdHk2i-btjPFqzvW3WhCdA305TQ1sUzsgtW9Lh60YIWXXP3mnGzaYlRKGxFW6kSJ6Jyrxel6fzgjEhG44NXcgiF6w4wR9XDNjV3c3F3SK_MXcJvkrzT3KbwzrQ/s320/MP900386037.JPG" width="228" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: Microsoft Clipart</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">A new post on the subject of <a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/hospitalchaplains">the job of a hospital chaplain.</a></span></div>
<br />PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-66301756865263901612012-03-20T14:39:00.003+00:002012-03-20T14:39:57.060+00:00Compassionate Christianity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhQpH9uhl5szUnVOWJP08k_y8mWPE4D4ZYUSLXL8Eainu2A5dkROAPlJL6WuRn-XAjwI6F10peEhKBNDprgD9W4QI-6Q5-QPtjw-nQQnHGezZIgfrbKAnGPuQGoFp9_U6y4fjC/s1600/DSC_0053.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhQpH9uhl5szUnVOWJP08k_y8mWPE4D4ZYUSLXL8Eainu2A5dkROAPlJL6WuRn-XAjwI6F10peEhKBNDprgD9W4QI-6Q5-QPtjw-nQQnHGezZIgfrbKAnGPuQGoFp9_U6y4fjC/s320/DSC_0053.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Please see my new writing venture over at <a href="http://pameuangelion.hubpages.com/hub/Compassionate-Christianity">Compassionate Christianity</a>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-89930692555558604712012-02-19T00:55:00.001+00:002012-02-19T00:56:36.144+00:00Transfiguration Sermon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A sermon for Transfiguration Sunday: <a href="http://pambgsermons.blogspot.com/2012/02/sunday-19-february-2012-gods-upside.html">God's Upside-Down Transfiguration</a>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-21598056557409388232011-12-22T23:34:00.001+00:002011-12-22T23:35:11.337+00:00Always worth a read.Fr. Richard Rohr is, in my opinion, one of the most sensible mature pastoral voices speaking into the current Christian context.<br />
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He started blogging in November and I have just found his blog: <a href="http://richardrohr.wordpress.com/">Richard Rohr: Unpacking Paradoxes</a>.<br />
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For my money, he is always worth hearing or reading. I look forward reading his blog.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-51502070871559416702011-12-17T17:44:00.002+00:002011-12-18T00:16:54.697+00:00Thank You For Calling<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Thank you for calling This Catalog. My name is Pam. How can I help you?<br />
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For the last three weeks, I've being working as a temporary order taker at a mail order catalog company. It's a seasonal job and I started doing it at the beginning of December. Each week has had it's own unique pace which has been interesting to observe.<br />
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It's the first time I've ever had any kind of call center job. The other day, I sat next to another temporary order taker who said that she normally does data entry and isn't used to dealing with people. I said that I normally deal with people but I'm used to doing it face to face and I'm <i>not</i> used to typing while I'm doing it.<br />
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Here are a few observations.<br />
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First, the vast, vast majority (98%?) of the callers are very pleasant and friendly. Now, this is a catalog where folk are calling in to buy stuff they want, so I hadn't expected to get a lot of grief. Still, I was positively surprised - given the volume of the calls we take - just how patient and pleasant most people are, even when they are calling in with a problem. A really positive experience.<br />
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Second observation. Being hostile and aggressive to get what you want is a very inefficient strategy. This is has been interesting to observe. I'm sitting at my desk taking orders, being efficient and not making any mistakes as I take people's orders. Someone calls with a complaint and they are pleasant, and I resolve the problem without too much fuss. Then someone calls and starts venting and insulting and raising their voice and my efficiency goes out the window. Magically, I can no longer even manage to type and the more I try to help, the more mistakes I make. And you'd be surprised the number of people who act aggressively from the beginning of the call in the expectation that this will make the order taker work faster. In fact, they are very effectively making me work more slowly.<br />
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Third observation. It's really easy to tell who has ADD and who is hard of hearing. The ADD people sound like they have a 300-lb gorilla trying to get through their front door but still somehow manage to take15 minutes place an order (we're supposed to finish each order in 4 minutes or less). And, when I ask you "Can you confirm your billing address for me?" and you respond "Thank you, I want the black socks in a size large" and I'm already screaming down the phone with the out-going volume at the maximum, I know it's going to be a difficult call.<br />
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And, speaking of four minutes or less, there are the people who call in thinking that they are going to manage to order 5 items in the 30 seconds before their El Train comes who get upset about how long the call is taking when you ask them to confirm their name and address. Then there are just the odd calls. I actually had someone call me on Friday who got angry at me when I asked her for her name and address; she asked "Can't I just order the items without giving you my name and address?" and then hung up on me when I said I needed to know that information to send her the items. Hello? It's a <i>mail order</i> catalog!<br />
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This is Pam speaking, how can I help you?PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-70635409714740943502011-11-01T17:49:00.001+00:002011-11-01T17:56:15.921+00:00Boundaries and Clergy Burnout<br />
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In my previous post, I talked about <a href="http://pambg.blogspot.com/2011/10/boundaries-and-sin.html">Boundaries and Sin</a> and my next thoughts are on the matter of Boundaries and Clergy Burnout. <br />
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I think that there is probably something like "Laity Burnout" which results in people who are otherwise devoted to God either changing church communities or dropping out of church altogether. I also think that Clergy Burnout and Laity Burnout are directly related to some of our fuzzy thinking about sin and boundaries.<br />
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Please don't think that I don't have sympathy for Laity Burnout - I do. The problem with Clergy Burnout is that, because clergy usually make their living at what they do, they may feel more trapped than lay people feel. Clergy also can't complain publicly about their experience the way that lay people can, that would be pastorally and professionally inappropriate. I think many clergy also feel that they can't reach other to those within church structures who are assigned to give them pastoral care because then they would be seen as ineffective pastors.<br />
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Assuming that the clergyperson does have a genuine vocation to the ministry and isn't getting burned out simply because ministry is not their God-given vocation, I think that the number one cause of clergy burn-out is bad boundaries.<br />
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The problem is that the Church often inadvertently teaches that God wants God's followers to <i>have</i> bad boundaries. <br />
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Inadvertently (and, in some cases, intentionally) we teach that "love your neighbor" means "give your neighbor whatever they want, whatever they think they need, whenever they want it."<br />
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Thus, we believe things like "God wants us to give money on a regular basis to the local neighborhood con artist" and we'll back this up with the biblical verse on giving to anyone who asks (<a href="http://bible.oremus.org/?ql=187168529">Matthew 5:52</a>) while we'll completely ignore the text that states that the person who refuses to work isn't allowed to beg from the community (<a href="http://bible.oremus.org/?ql=187168709">2 Thessalonians 3:5-15</a>). We think we are being kind and loving and nice by giving money to the con artist but what we are doing is <i>enabling</i> them in their maladaptive behavior. <br />
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The problem for clergy is that congregations also often want the pastor to <i>enable</i> them. Each and every one of us is addicted in some way to maladaptive behaviors and most of us will find changing these behaviors painful.<br />
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What is so exhausting about being placed in the role of Enabler is that the Enabler has to work significantly harder than everyone else to maintain the appearance of the community being dynamic and vibrant and whole.<br />
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As a small example, assume that 3 bible study group leaders drop out of their positions over the course of two years. Each time Pastor Boundariless is pressured by his congregation to take over the role of leader and, at the end of two years, he has added a quantity of work to his schedule that is not nearly as insignificant as his congregation might think. If you expect good quality scholarship at each class, it's not only going to take some preparation on the pastor's part, but it's also going to be a lot better if he's not exhausted.<br />
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There is also another way I think that the Institutional Church of many denominations is enabling the lay people who belong to them: the myth that if the Pastor is a Really Good Preacher with a Really Good Strategic Vision, that new members will come flocking to churches.<br />
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There is a myth of Magical Thinking that all we have to do is be Genuinely Faithful and people will come flocking to our doors. Of course, none of this falls as a "should" or an "ought" on the heads of the congregational members. The "shoulds" and the "oughts" fall on the Pastor because "We are paying her" (to enable us in doing exactly what we want to do and to take the blame when our dysfunctions are found out).<br />
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Of course, at the end of the day, the only way to cease being an Enabler is to say "No" and to say "Stop". That takes a lot of growing and a lot of courage, particularly if the prevailing theology of your community has it that being an Enabler is being A Good Christian and that refusing to exhaust yourself by trying to do the impossible is Being Selfish and Sinful.<br />
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Ultimately, as Christians, we need to get our theology straight about boundaries. That doesn't mean we won't have disagreements about where the line in the sand should be drawn. But hopefully, we won't argue that the act of drawing a line in the sand is unChristian.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-90130615917329782022011-10-31T23:22:00.002+00:002011-10-31T23:25:26.167+00:00Boundaries and Sin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I was born in 1957. A year that, I am led to believe, was the peak year of the Baby Boom in the US.</div>
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Theologically, I think that my generation has a lot to answer for. We were the babies born (in the US) at the height of post WWII affluence. Not only were we looking forward to a level of economic prosperity that our parents - who grew up in the depression - only dreamed of, but we were also quick to throw off the shackles of institutionalism, bureaucracy and rigid social expectations.</div>
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Many of us, myself included, were raised in religious environments that emphasized how sinful and bad we were. My stock joke - which really isn't all that funny - is that as a kid I thought the Gospel message was "Jesus died for your sins, so the Father has to let you into heaven. However the Father is absolutely livid that He's been bribed like that because He hates you."</div>
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In reaction to this sort of theology, my generation responded in two ways. Firstly, many simply left the Church and Christianity entirely. Secondly, many of us adopted a theology of "cheap grace" - which I outlined in <a href="http://pambg.blogspot.com/2011/10/sin-and-hospital-chaplaincy.html">my previous post.</a> Briefly, "cheap grace" means that we give people the impression that just because God <i>wants</i> to forgive everyone (who repents properly), that God <i>will</i> forgive everyone regardless of whether they are sorry and regardless of whether or not they want to repent.</div>
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Another way of saying "cheap grace" is "no boundaries".</div>
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I like the "no boundaries" way of looking at the problem of sin because it brings the problem of sin and cheap grace quickly into focus. </div>
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My generation often behaved as if boundaries didn't matter and we often didn't teach boundaries to our children. No wonder the next generation is reacting in the opposite direction: boundaries galore, including a lot of boundaries that make the love of God too narrow.</div>
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Human beings have a way of doing this. Black-and-white thinking and jumping from one extreme to another. If the boundaries I had were too rigid, then do away with them altogether. If the boundaries you had were non-existent, then put in some rigid boundaries so that everyone knows where they stand. If the punishment I received was too harsh, never punish anyone for anything. If no one seemed to care what you did, then impose strong punishments so that the values you're upholding have meaning.</div>
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Some wise common-sense thinking will quickly help us realize that there is a more central position: boundaries which maintain the values of love of God and love of neighbor which are enforced consistently and lovingly.</div>
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For the most part, it seems to me that that is the witness of Scripture about Jesus' behavior. OK, yes, he knocked over the tables in the Temple once. But in many stories, Jesus forgave the sins of an individual with compassionate understanding, warned the person to truly repent and to not repeat the sin and sometimes even healed them.</div>
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Generally speaking, having and enforcing boundaries does not require harshness on the part of the enforcer, it requires mainly <i>consistency</i> of enforcement. Preaching about how much God hates us when we breech the boundaries isn't going to result in better behavior, it's going to result in a character-assassination of God, not to mention bad theology (God doesn't hate us). Making up a lot of zealous boundaries like "God wants women to be subservient to men" or "God hates LGBT people" or "God will cast you out if you believe in evolution" doesn't result in better boundaries, it simply perpetuates bad theology.</div>
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Yes, sin is bad. Yes, sin damages us. Sin can <a href="http://pambg.blogspot.com/2011/10/sin-and-hospital-chaplaincy.html">keep us in hell</a>. Sin estranges us from God.</div>
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The solution is good boundaries born from wise theology. The solution is <i>consistent enforcemen</i>t of those boundaries. The solution is compassionate, mature enforcement of boundaries.</div>
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<br /></div>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-20761327759152466562011-10-31T12:12:00.000+00:002011-10-31T12:13:46.596+00:00Sin and Hospital Chaplaincy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sin and Hospital Chaplaincy - a strange title? Not from my perspective.<br />
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If you were to ask me what are the most <i>important</i> spiritual care tasks I perform, I would have to say that hearing patients' confessions is probably right up there at the top of the list. Comforting and praying with patients is probably the most <i>requested</i> spiritual care task, but I think that hearing confession is one of the most <i>important</i>.<br />
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But isn't confession just for Catholics? And how can a swingeing theological "liberal" like me hear confession when all I want to talk about is God's love and when I don't want to talk about God's condemnation of sinners?<br />
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Well, I'm here to tell you that confession is not just for Catholics. You'd be surprised the people who want to confess their sins to another, embodied, human being. Lots of Protestants want to tell you their worst sins when their lives are in danger and they want the reassurance of God's forgiveness from someone they see as God's representative. (I believe all baptized Christians are God's representatives, by the way. As my Baptist supervisor says, you can be a priest to any individual as long as that individual ordains you for service to them.)<br />
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So what does this theological liberal say when someone asks me "Do you think God will forgive me?" My first question often is "I don't know. What did you do?" I usually follow this up quickly with "I believe that God <i>wants</i> to forgive everyone, so if you're asking me if God <i>will</i> forgive you or that God <i>can</i> forgive you, the answer is yes. But if you are asking me to assure you that God has forgiven you of a specific sin, then I need to know what the sin was but, more importantly, I need to know how you have repented. You need to make things right not only with God, but with the person against whom you sinned, if that's applicable."<br />
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Tough stuff for a theological liberal? And how does that fit with a theology of unconditional grace and forgiveness?<br />
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My theology of unconditional grace and forgiveness is my belief that God <i>wants</i> to forgive every person and that God <i>will</i> forgive every and any sin. There is no such thing as an unforgivable sin. There is no such thing as an unforgivable person. <br />
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But....<i>unconditional</i> grace is an entirely different thing than <i>cheap</i> grace. Here is an example of cheap grace: "God forgive me for being with a prostitute yesterday night and, by the way, you and I know full well that I intend to do it again." Not only is this not repentance from a <i>theological </i>point of view, but from a simple human perspective, we all know in our hearts and our guts that this is not repentance.<br />
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We can run away from this fact all we want, but if you are a cardiac patient who is conscious and awake and you know that, medically, you might die any minute, believe me that you know darn well that this is not a repentance. And that's probably why you're calling the chaplain in.<br />
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The patient asks the words "Will God forgive me?" and the answer to that is yes. The question that the patient <i>should</i> be asking, however, is "Will I be able to benefit from God's forgiveness if I don't really intend to amend my ways?" The answer to that is no.<br />
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So what happens to that cardiac patient? If the patient dies without having had the opportunity to confess to his wife, to amend his life in faithfulness to his marriage vows and to demonstrate his repentance, will God have forgiven him? I don't know. And neither does anyone else. This is why we leave judgements of the human heart to God. God knows if a person is genuinely sorry and I believe genuine repentance is possible, even without having had the opportunity to demonstrate one's repentance.<br />
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The real tragedy of sin is that so many people live in the hell of unforgiveness for many years. And if you visit a patient whose life is in danger and who wants to make a confession, you know that it truly has been hell.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-7266749417372155582011-10-18T15:33:00.000+01:002011-10-18T15:33:11.680+01:00Directing hatred at sin is self-defeating<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In <a href="http://pambg.blogspot.com/2011/10/god-hates-sin.html">my previous post</a>, I admitted that I think that God hates sin but I stated that I'm nervous about the use of the word "hate".<br />
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The Merriam-Webster Dictionary <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hate">defines hatred as:</a> <br />
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a) Intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger or sense of injury; b) extreme dislike or antipathy</blockquote>
To put it crudely, is the Gospel message that God wants to punch sinners in the face? Or even that God wants to beat the daylights out of sin? I don't think so.<br />
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For one thing, I think God is smarter than to constantly focus on what God <i>doesn't</i> want. I hold before you Creation for my evidence. Creation is not a process of negating. It's a process of of making all things new. I also hold before you human psychology (we are supposed to be created in God's image, if you'll remember). Psychologists will tell you that if you constantly tell yourself - for example - "no beer, no beer" what you're brain is hearing is "beer, beer"; ironically, you will be reinforcing the very behavior that you are seeking to stop.<br />
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Focusing on sin, even focusing on the <i>destruction</i> of sin, won't eliminate sinning. It may very well <i>increase</i> sinning. <br />
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This may seem a bit simplistic, but it's true: <br />
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If you're worried that this was said by the Buddha instead of Jesus or YHWH, I'll point out that the Great Commandment, is love God and love your neighbor. Our "Prime Directive" is not about what to hate but rather about whom to love.<br />
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And, in God's wisdom, God somehow managed to put this "Prime Directive" into our sense of natural justice. It's the central tenet in all major religions and altruism (loving one's neighbor) is also considered the highest ethical good by secular ethics.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-4249201048396896292011-10-15T22:52:00.002+01:002011-10-15T22:56:05.551+01:00God Hates Sin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The topic of sin has been on my mind recently and I thought it might be good to blog about it.</div>
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I suspect that both friends and foes (as well as friendly foes) might be surprised to hear that I believe that God hates sin. </div>
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However, I suspect that no one will be surprised to hear that I believe that God loves sinners. Not just because that latter idea conforms to what you probably already think of my views. But also because "God loves sinners" is a deeply Methodist doctrine. A Methodist emphasis (although not a distinctive) is that we hold the concept of prevenient grace dear to our hearts. In plain English, this means we believe God wishes to be in relationship with all people who have ever lived.</div>
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However, that doesn't mean that God likes sin. On the contrary, sin is what keeps us alienated from God rather than in relationship with God, so it's a no-brainer that God hates sin. So, yes, God hates sin.</div>
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It's not actually so much the concept of "sin" that worries me. It's the concept of "hate".</div>
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What do you think of when you hear the word "hate"? Each individual will probably hear differently. </div>
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When someone says "I hate it when I ask you to do something and you ignore me" do you hear the other person simply saying "I'm coming here today with a totally neutral request to ask you to change your behavior" or do you hear some negative emotion behind that?</div>
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Now, let me ask you another question. </div>
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How do you think that someone who has been physically abused by a family member would hear that sentence? How do you think that someone who has been sexually abused by someone bigger and stronger would hear that? How do you think that someone who has been emotionally abused by someone close to them would hear that?</div>
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What do you think that someone who has been abused hears when they hear the word "hate"? What do you think they hear when they hear "God hates"?</div>
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And what's the relevance of my question? Well, social scientists believe that at least 33% of women have been abused by someone close to them during their lifetimes and that at least 25% of men have also been similarly abused. Social scientists also suspect that these numbers may be under-reported.</div>
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So, as Christians, do we really want to send the message that "God hates something or someone or even some action" to the 33% of the population who is hurting and most in need of healing?</div>
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I can hear some people now objecting that this is the sort of thinking that has led to the wishy-washy, anything-goes abandonment of values that got the world into trouble in the first place. I think we <b>can</b> take a stance against sin without preaching "God hates" (behaviors or people) and I intend to address that in my next post. </div>
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I'm going to suggest that both sides of this question are at fault: both the law-and-order advocates as well as the advocates of passivity. The problem is not that God loves sinners or that God hates sin. </div>
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The problem is that human beings engage in black-and-white thinking and behave in reactionary ways. Christianity is supposed to encourage wisdom, among other things, so I think it's the duty of Christian teachers to point to wiser ways of behaving. Wiser than "That's OK, let's not have any rules or boundaries" and wiser than "If we make God look like a Tough Guy, people will be too afraid to sin."</div>
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<span class="st"></span>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-34065222357462022862011-09-05T22:57:00.008+01:002011-09-05T23:52:33.243+01:00Spiritual But Not Religious - Bring it on!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaPqdKqPzuLRsOWj_mgvBvx_wewh_lWDGOf_3DhkTCRXS_5Iu_FRXjfqOrQBdExJkjFZl7sF5eDu_fHU0A7T8wQffLXqr6TzO5zTzuoDR9my-OfoGTqnyZ_KQ5XJTVdtyFkGE3/s1600/at-sunset-evening-sky.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaPqdKqPzuLRsOWj_mgvBvx_wewh_lWDGOf_3DhkTCRXS_5Iu_FRXjfqOrQBdExJkjFZl7sF5eDu_fHU0A7T8wQffLXqr6TzO5zTzuoDR9my-OfoGTqnyZ_KQ5XJTVdtyFkGE3/s320/at-sunset-evening-sky.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5648998663256900434" border="0" /></a>
<br />A number of my Facebook friends have been "liking" a post by The Rev. Dr. Lillian Daniel entitled <a href="http://day1.org/3270-dr_lillian_daniel_spiritual_but_not_religious_please_stop_boring_me">Spiritual But Not Religious? Please Stop Boring Me</a>. There is also a longer article <a href="http://christiancentury.org/article/2011-08/you-can-t-make#.Tl_1JSxzIk0.facebook">posted here</a> at The Christian Century website.
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<br />I'm actually a fan of Day1 ministries and, when I first saw the article, I didn't think too much of it. But there have been a number of "likes" and a number of comments about this article's honesty.
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<br />And I'm uncomfortable with all the positive comments and I'm trying to figure out why.
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The first reason I'm uncomfortable</span> is because of what I learned to call "parallel processing" in Clinical Pastoral Education.
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<br />The story in the longer article about the man who was born into a particular Christian denomination and felt hurt and injured by it is one that I can very much identify with.
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<br />I spent about ten years outside of the Church, as someone who was "spiritual but not religious", too afraid to seek out any Christian community lest I be told yet again that God loved me but didn't like me and that He (masculine gender with a capital H) expected my unquestioning subservience to men as a sign of my commitment to Him.
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<br />So I'm glad that, during that time, I didn't meet a clergyperson who said "Please stop boring me" in response to my spiritual struggles of that time. It was a time of genuine spiritual journeying for me. It turned out to be a period of genuine liberation back into the Christian community. And I might well have been completely done with Christianity altogether if someone had said that to me at the wrong time.
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">But my second niggle is this: </span> I think a lot of the discussion I've seen is conflating "head religion" with "heart religion". (I realize these are awkward terms, but I'm using them deliberately right now in order to avoid more well-known terms over whose definitions we might be tempted to argue.)
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On the level of "head religion"</span>, the Rev. Dr. Lillian Daniels makes lots of a very valid points. Theology seems to be one of the few areas where people who have never studied think that they know as much - or often think that they know more - than those who <span style="font-style: italic;">have</span> studied. It's also ironically one of the few areas where it's actually difficult to come up with something that someone hasn't thought of already; and often that someone who thought of your brilliant insight before you did lived 1500, 2000 or 5000 years ago.
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<br />There is most certainly a type of liberal Christianity which seems uncomfortable standing inside the historic Christian tradition and which is embarrassed to own the truths, the tradition and the historic understanding of Christianity. A type of liberal Christian who tells someone "Well, your truth is as good as mine." And Daniels is correct, I think, in telling us to stop pandering to this point of view.
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<br />However, <span style="font-weight: bold;">on the level of "heart religion",</span> I believe that "spiritual but not religious" is often a genuine journey of searching for many, many people. And I'm uncomfortable with dissing that genuine search by telling someone to stop boring me.
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<br />I don't think that genuine "heart religion" - the kind of religion that ultimately locates us in a relationship with God and with other human beings - is something that we simply appropriate without some kind of struggle to make it our own. No human relationship is without its give-and-take and I don't believe a relationship with God is either.
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<br />Somewhere along the line, in order to have genuine "heart religion," we must question, listen, compromise, apologize and maybe even argue and forgive.
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<br />To the "Spiritual but not religious," I say: I'm happy to listen to you.
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<br />Don't expect me to pretend I'm not a Christian. Don't expect me to apologize for being a Christian. And, because I'm human, don't expect me to be able to tolerate forever being told how silly or stupid my faith is or how my theological education is worth nothing.
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<br />But I'm willing to listen to your story with respect if you are willing to listen to my story with respect - yes, even without trying to convert you. I trust in God that much that I don't need you to believe as I do.
<br />PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-42870816517697350052011-07-21T00:46:00.002+01:002011-07-21T00:48:51.117+01:00Great is Thy Faithfulness<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFriB2qBbW41kSWtH5iWCQdrI_osjkZ4xdPLbU8iLkmd1T4jjX00vwnLXL96puajEAV-lU8WbRAxBTLUCIB8K_ebSzkGu_4Lv0Z93adCbu0QLL71wHymlD6tzgpUiBVwXRM9da/s1600/desert-journey.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFriB2qBbW41kSWtH5iWCQdrI_osjkZ4xdPLbU8iLkmd1T4jjX00vwnLXL96puajEAV-lU8WbRAxBTLUCIB8K_ebSzkGu_4Lv0Z93adCbu0QLL71wHymlD6tzgpUiBVwXRM9da/s320/desert-journey.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5631585345910725330" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />A sermon preached on Wednesday June 20, 2011 at the hospital chapel: <a href="http://pambgsermons.blogspot.com/2011/07/wednesday-june-20-2011-great-is-thy.html">Great is Thy Faithfulness</a>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-9819618104791060002011-06-29T00:08:00.007+01:002011-07-04T18:21:10.611+01:00Regret<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bhEGx6ly8xFzGyR5wlZHipcNqEhkZB2yXQ29uKPqiobFoWUY2t61PIAP2WRjLJBmh-Q1MD3dEe0OLnIP43GkZ1EL_h3ua-Iy3WDQRgC9vGFTicbzBn8aNpNDvFuf6oCdZBr5/s1600/18606-regret.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bhEGx6ly8xFzGyR5wlZHipcNqEhkZB2yXQ29uKPqiobFoWUY2t61PIAP2WRjLJBmh-Q1MD3dEe0OLnIP43GkZ1EL_h3ua-Iy3WDQRgC9vGFTicbzBn8aNpNDvFuf6oCdZBr5/s320/18606-regret.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623411469554916466" border="0" /></a>I love how God sometimes gives us gifts out of the blue. A gift that a friend and I received a few months ago came in a mutual conversation where we determined that the emotion she was experiencing was the emotion of regret.<br /><br />I mention this because people in our culture today don't think too much about the concept of "regret". And we think <span style="font-style: italic;">too</span> much about things like blame, guilt and anger. When things go awry, I think that we often reach for states of mind like guilt, blame and anger when what we're really feeling is regret for a situation.<br /><br />Here are a couple of examples of regret.<br /><br />A woman leaves home very early in the morning for her early-start job. Her disabled husband is asleep, as usual, and she decides not to wake him up. Later in the day, she learns that he had a stroke in the middle of the night and she is wracked with guilt. If only she had tried to wake him up at 5:00 am, she would have realized that he was unconscious and called an ambulance.<br /><br />A grandmother is looking forward to seeing her grandchildren over the weekend when her daughter rings to tell her that something important has come up and the grandkids won't be able to come over. The grandmother gets angry at her daughter and blames her daughter, even as the grandmother is telling herself that her daughter couldn't possibly have foreseen this event and that it's not her daughter's fault.<br /><br />In my opinion, both of these situations are examples of regret. They are also situations where our culture is often more accustomed to reaching for the describers of "guilt" (in the first instance) or guilt's opposite number "blame" (in the second instance).<br /><br />What's the difference between guilt/blame and regret?<br /><br />The purpose of guilt is to alert us human beings to the fact that there is a moral or ethical choice for which we have a responsibility.<br /><br />So, in the first example, if the woman had tried to rouse her husband, found him unconscious and then shrugged her shoulders and decided to go off to work anyway, then she <span style="font-style: italic;">should</span> feel very guilty indeed; she had a moral responsibility to her husband's well-being that she abdicated. <br /><br />Why is it important to understand the difference between regret and guilt/blame? Because if we understand the difference, we have a method of moral discernment. We will know how to avoid blaming people (ourselves or others) who didn't actually act unethically or immorally. We also have a process of discerning when someone <span style="font-style: italic;">does</span> actually need to be blamed and when an action needs to be named as wrong.<br /><br />And, finally, we can also learn to feel some strong feelings of regret in situations where there is no actual blame. The woman in my first example, for instance, will have strong feelings of regret. And strong feelings of "if only". And those feelings need to be mourned and cried over. What she <span style="font-style: italic;">doesn't</span> need to feel is guilt, however.PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20471270.post-64065816016341717602011-06-22T11:02:00.003+01:002011-06-23T23:52:38.546+01:00Church Growth<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhouISoUcgQuKrPpZ0rEe6-G2t70YWngXqEbfJKZhEgleteu9J09TRfUggOLF7_clt6fI2iZJiAbQ9cptGysB4QZNIaXz6cEycE0X7fFA7iOOIK6npDj_5T56H3j7oT2U_LmlZ9/s1600/lakewood-church.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhouISoUcgQuKrPpZ0rEe6-G2t70YWngXqEbfJKZhEgleteu9J09TRfUggOLF7_clt6fI2iZJiAbQ9cptGysB4QZNIaXz6cEycE0X7fFA7iOOIK6npDj_5T56H3j7oT2U_LmlZ9/s320/lakewood-church.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620983367748255138" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://diggingalot.org/diggingalot/">Graham</a> has <a href="http://diggingalot.org/diggingalot/?p=4553">an excellent post on the subject of "church growth"</a>: <blockquote style="font-style: italic;">"…when did trying to follow Jesus, humbly, become overtaken by management speak?"</blockquote>PamBGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11324370506889227234noreply@blogger.com1